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Communication vs. Connection September 10, 2007

Posted by Darin Persinger in Coaching, Contacting Your Sphere, Creative, idea, Real Estate, Sales, Scripts.

Are you just communicating?     

Or are you really connecting?


Before we go too far into this blog let me give you two options.

1. Go out and buy Jeffrey Gitomer’s book “Little Black Book of Connections” then you don’t have to read this blog. OR
2. Read this blog and go out and buy Jeffery Gitomer’s book “Little Black Book of Connections”

Have you ever seen this? Two people in a car together and both are on a cell phone. How about two people walking in a mall together and both are having a conversation just not with each other? Both are on cell phones.
Technology is making it easier and easier to communicate but harder and harder to connect.

Our business is about connecting. Sellers will list with the agent they connect with. Buyers will write an offer with an agent they connect with. If you are truly connected to your clients they will refer people they are connected to.

We spend a lot of time and money communicating at our customers and clients. Emails, phone calls, voice mails, letters, postcards, newspaper ads, web-sites, magazines, brochures, fliers, etc. etc.

How much time and money do we spend connecting with them?When was the last time you connected with someone in your sphere? Maybe it’s time to REconnect!

When was the last time you connected with someone at an open house? At a networking event? Maybe it’s time to start connecting!

“You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you” -Dale Carnegie

So how well are you connecting? How can you tell? Easy! Ask yourself these 4 (plus 1) quick, simple and easy questions to yourself.

1. When was the last time I got a referral?
2. How many referrals have I received in the last 6 months?
3. How many referrals have I received in the last 12 months?
4. How many new names do I add to my database each week?  AND  (plus 1)
5. When was the last time I did something of value, gave something of value or helped the people in my database?

I have asked you a bunch of questions and you probably want to ask me,
“Yeah but Darin, how do I connect?

Great question!
There are a few methods that Jeffrey Gitomer offers up in his book listed above and there are a few methods we will touch on right now.

“The questions that you ask, the ideas you bring to the table, and your communication skills, combined with your passion, belief, and attitude, are the fundamentals of what it takes to connect.” – Jeffrey Gitomer

First, ask questions. Lots of questions. Questions about them. Questions about their ideas and opinions. People want to talk about themselves. People want to share. Asking questions gives them permission and the opportunity to do that. Ask away.

Below is a simple, easy to remember acronym on things that you can ask about:


So does asking questions get you connected? NOPE! It gets you answers though.
What you do with those answers is how you connect.Think of it like this:

You are an airplane trying to land (connect)
The person you are talking with is air traffic control in the tower

You are circling around the runway, asking questions, trying to connect

You keep circling the runway, you keep asking, you do FORD, as soon as you find something in common-
what ever it might be (you both have daughters, you both have dogs, you both vacation in the same place, you both are fans of the same football team, you both like the same kind of food, you both golf, anything.) Once you find that thing in common the questions stop and you share with them about yourself this thing you have in common. This starts to lead to a safe happy landing connection.

Airplane and tower are together. Connection. Success!!!

So what are you waiting for? Go CONNECT!



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